Fighting for the truth . . . exposing the corrupt

April 15, 2002

From the considerable “feedback” we get from our many readers, we know they just love to read about our “Rogues Gallery” of “characters,” at Carlisle Barracks. From THE BULLY and DICKIE WIGGLEBOTTOM, to the now-departed CHAMELON and CHUCKIE CHEESE, the “war crimes” expert.

Well, now we have a NEW member to “induct,” and this fellow really does deserve a “dunce cap.” He’s none other than LTC Jim MacNeil, known to many CAPERS readers as “the bumbling PAO.” Now he can be called “the stupid PAO.” We hereby declare - from henceforth, on these pages, we shall refer to him by his “new” name – THE DUMMY.

Here’s why. What PAO with a DINFOS diploma would be so DUMB as to call up a civilian reporter for a sizeable daily newspaper and “inquire” as to WHO that reporter’s military sources are on Carlisle Barracks?

We can understand THE DUMMY’s “frustration” at his inability to control the flow of “news” in the LTC Bartlett murder case, but only a “moron” would think any civilian reporter worth his salt would “rat out” his sources to an officer so obviously seeking to hunt down and “punish” them.

One of the jobs of a PAO (Public Affairs Officer, for you civilian readers) – and this writer knows full well what that job entails – is to foster “good relations” with the local media. Sure, you can “spin” the news. That’s expected. But do it with a smile. Don’t be heavy-handed and a dunce and think you can make reporters “give up” sources as easily as an LTC can browbeat a PFC. Get real!

Fortunately for Carlisle Barracks, the reporter is a very nice guy. And while amazed at THE DUMMY’s actions, he’s highly professional and won’t let the incident in any way affect his always incisive and fair reporting of events on the post.
We know Gen. Ivany - the best Commandant in many a year - reads us regularly. So, “Sir, don’t you think it’s time you got a new PAO? At least one with enough smarts not to embarrass the command, or who badmouths on Carlisle Barracks? MacNeil even unknowingly complained about MCC to one of our “deep cover” CI’s, who reported it right back to us.

Here’s hoping THE DUMMY learns his lesson, like the one we taught him earlier about “censorship.” The light colonel may be more valuable to the Army in Supply or the Motor Pool – somewhere he can’t “stub his toe” in public.

Time does fly. It seems like yesterday the multi-talented LTC Thomas “Ty” Smith landed at Carlisle Barracks. This published author and top-notch writer was tasked with the unenviable job of returning respect to the position of garrison commander.
Smith’s predecessor, an obnoxious loudmouth known as THE SCREAMER, had made enemies all over post. A rude and none-too-bright “light” colonel, THE SCREAMER flourished during the dark days of PATHETIC BOBBY’s regime. There’s an old saying – “the fish rots from the head down” – and with an equally-offensive boss, the former garrison commander thought he could operate with impunity.

The Army leadership actually made a GOOD decision, in fact a GREAT one, when they sent Gen. Robert Ivany to Carlisle Barracks. That was as clear a message as could be that the “old” way of doing things was on the way OUT. Along with CHUCKIE CHEESE and some other “deadwood.”

Well, we have to tell you that a new garrison commander will be coming to the Barracks in July. It is a routine transfer of power, but we hope that the highly-respected LTC Smith soon will be COL Smith and a student at the Army War College.
We are sure the vast majority of the military and civilians on post join in a heartfelt SALUTE to this fine officer. THANKS for all you did to restore dignity to Carlisle Barracks. God bless you.

TOO BAD, IF THAT MONEY WENT TO SETTLE RON MEIER’S “AGE DISCRIMINATION” CASE AGAINST CARLISLE BARRACKS. would like your help in finding a date and location for the annual summer reunion of the “Battlin’ Brothers” clan. We hear this year might be an event to remember! The “boys” – Bill and Jim – should have all the memorabilia from the “feuding days” at Carlisle Barracks on display. Maybe we should send a reporter and photographer to cover the event.

Our readership would expand even more at the Barracks if we could get our mitts on the Polaroid snapshots these two guys found time to take as they fought their way up the DPW totem pole.

Remember the great PIX of the Chief Government Inspector getting a trailer hitch welded to his personal POV on the parking lot of Anne Ely Hall – by a government contractor no less? We’re a “family” web site, so we wouldn’t publish alleged photos of Bill and the “Bony Blonde Bombshell” in back of the steam plant. Veteran government workers sure miss the cute but embarrassing memorabilia the two “boys” used to leave around in plain view when they were “scrapping” with each other.

Like the one last year after Bill promised to “protect” Jim from the coming A-76 by declaring his job an essential government function. Instead Jim was the FIRST one to go! We’re willing to bet the two HARPIES would do most anything to get a gander at some of this dirt. How about it, girls?

PEE WEE HERMAN, the weasel who conspired with the CHAMELON and the RUG MERCHANT to violate regulations and rubber-stamp an illegal OER on a targeted field-grade, remains thoroughly despised by several of his key workers.
And no wonder.

We hear that PEE WEE is trying to “cut a deal” to save himself from the coming A-76. We’re told he has proposed the Army eliminate his military staff and protect all civilian positions – including, of course, his own! He’s pretty slimy, and may be able to “sell it,” but insiders aren’t sure. They say even if he succeeds with his “plan,” PEE WEE is still in “big trouble” because all his best staffers with years of know-how are leaving for reasons of their own.

CONGRATULATIONS to Jim McNally, senior post photographer and our favorite cancer survivor, on his promotion to a senior level war college post. Let’s hope his civil service grade protects him as his fellow employees brace for the impending reduction in force at the Computer Information Office (CIO).

Jim owes his life to a loving sister in Pittsburgh. She not only donated her bone marrow, but took him into her home for more than a year as he sought treatment at the best medical center in America.

The work of a photographer at the war college is not a “cake walk,” as you might expect. Besides asking Generals to say “cheese,” guys like Jim can be called out in the middle of the night to photo shoot the office of some poor shmuck who’s being set-up for charges. In his long career, he has sometimes photographed pairs of “panties” found in an officer’s desk drawer – although we trust, not the pair inscribed to PATHETIC BOBBY by a long-departed deputy commandant’s wife.

We hear FLATHEAD (see last month’s column) is still “smarting” after we humiliated him and his obnoxious wife in these pages. Well, he better “wise up” and stop “mouthing off,” because he made a lot of enemies on Post when he had that soft job he screwed up. We’ve got all kinds of “ammo” to throw at him.

TOMMY-BOY is “laying low” in the wake of the arrival of a new boss at MHI. He’s not his usual “nasty” self. It doesn’t look good to be written up in CAPERS, you know. We are read regularly at the Pentagon, and officers – even ex-officers like TOMMY-BOY – do themselves no good when their excesses are chronicled before an audience of readers from 95 countries and every U.S. military installation here and overseas.

Word is the new “Director” – this one is fully-qualified to hold the position – does NOT encourage visits to his office by the “knee-pad brigade.” That should come as a shock to “under-performers” who, up until now, have gotten away with incompetence based on how well they sucked up to the “boss.”

Speaking of “bosses,” what a pathetic sight it is to see the “de-fanged” BULLY wandering around on Post with no power and a few days left to “run out the clock.” We hear all his efforts to land a cushy civilian job have failed. Well, we don’t want to be heartless, and we certainly appreciate the fact THE BULLY told THE TWO-LEGGED RAT: “It is an HONOR to be written up in the CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS.”

We’re glad you “like it,” colonel. So how about joining us in your retirement? Come out to sunny Arizona. You won’t have a palatial luxury home and fancy car like the editor-in-chief. There will be no time to lie around in the swimming pool. We’ll put you right to work in the job that CHUCKIE CHEESE passed up. Office Boy! It pays $300 a week plus benefits, including a great Phoenix location. We’re right close to the NASCAR track and a liquor store.

Always on the trail of NEPOTISM at Carlisle Barracks, we’ve found that some well-connected women on Post have been successful in looking out for their otherwise- unemployable mates. The HARPY from DRM is married to a cash-strapped bartender from Perry County. This guy got a cushy job at the Golf House as a part-time NAF employee. However, other workers complain the “loafer” pulls down more “overtime” than the golf pro! The other HARPY likes to twist the arms of small business contractors to hire her “retired” MP hubby as day labor or a security “consultant.”

Our most colorful account of NEPOTISM involves a certain “Big Mama” from DPW. You might mistake this lady for a street vendor peddling cheap imitation Indian jewelry through Smurf Village. Our much-married civilian manager used to show up on a friend’s front porch at 0300 hours all bloodied and bruised by beatings from the violent men she was attracted to. However, things seem to be going better for her these days.

All she has to worry about is keeping a certain someone on the Barracks payroll. Having failed as a shipyard laborer, electrician’s helper, and fireman, this character is currently holding down a job as “Energizer Bunny” for CIO. He’s supposed to check and maintain the batteries. As things look now, he may be lucky if he can hold onto that job when the A-76 contractor takes over. Neither DPW or the Fire Department want him back.


A hearty CONGRATULATIONS to the new officers of the AFL-CIO Firefighters Union at Carlisle Barracks – President Eddie Beam, VP Jim Zipfel, and Secretary Doug Henschel. And a “well-done” to the out-going officers. We ask all 12 firemen to “pull together” as a TEAM and back these guys up! We also recommend you fellows reach out across the Post and work to improve conditions in departments beyond your own.

This writer still proudly carries in his wallet his AFL-CIO card (Newspaper Guild of New York, Local 3) although it’s been some years since readers read his well-known byline in a famous New York newspaper. Millions more got to see it on a famous world-wide wire service.

Things have much improved under the new Commandant. But we know that past problems at the Barracks resulted from management’s “skill” at fragmenting employee representation on Post and “playing” competing employee groups against each other. Frankly, we think affiliation with the AFL-CIO should have done even more for government workers. It’s not comforting for wage earners to see union officials, when they do show up, driving a white Lincoln Continental.

For a good demonstration of TEAMWORK and COOPERATION, we direct you, dear reader, up the road to the Navy Depot. Our CI’s there have uncovered a story of huge proportions in the Fleet Materials Support Organization that has lead to the downfall of the senior SES employee in that command. The Navy “brass” in Philadelphia singled out 21 employees in FMSO for big financial awards for “superior performance.” However, when the SES got the money, we’re told she used it for another purpose, NOT awards!

Well, some e-mail passed between Philadelphia and Mechanicsburg and the bargaining unit employees sent an Unfair Labor Practice complaint to Al Gordon in the Boston office of FLRA. As a result, the 21 affected government workers will now receive $11,000 each, including “punitive damages.” As for the SES, she gets a quick lateral transfer.

Yes, we know all about the “clean sweep” at Dunham Clinic and the much-needed removal of the Chief of Nurses there. The story is so detailed and interesting, we’re giving it to one of our writers to do up as a separate story. If only the “walls” at Dunham could talk!

Okay, here’s a hint. We’ll tell you about the day CHUCKIE CHEESE “went ballistic” and why. Check in with on a daily basis so you won’t miss anything.


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