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LATEST CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS
July 20, 2002


Our CI’s have turned up some “hot” e-mail. Seems that Army regulations are being used against a hard-working female Griffin Service worker.

She can often be seen trimming shrubs on Post along the Harrisburg Pike. When she needs to answer a sudden “call of nature,” old “Battlin’ Brother Bill” expects her to “step into the bushes” to do her business. No more using the government pick-up truck to drive up the road to the toilet at Sheets gas station.

With a “good reminder” tacked on by Alan Thompson, “Billy Boy” writes his fellow DPW bosses: “(we) need to remind the Griffin workforce that using government vehicles for private use . . . using government furnished equipment (to include tools) . . . and taking government provided property (materials, equipment, etc.) off the installation, are all prohibited activities.” If necessary, “we will go formal . . . ”

It’s more than a three-mile drive to circle the Post and get back to a toilet on government property. Most of the Griffin workers are skilled tradesmen with their own tools. The only “bad apple” among them learned his habits at DPW. This pear-shaped former federal worker has already been demoted from his “leader” status and denied the nice $3 per hour raise granted many of his fellow Griffin workers. Some “inquiring” minds want to know why DPW executives go to the Sheets gas station on “duty time.” Also, why are the top brass at DPW clocking in at sunrise with full trunk loads of home trash to deposit in “government” dumpsters?

Don’t they know we have “eyes” everywhere?


On a more disturbing note, we regret that the case against an enlisted chaplain’s assistant is NOT going to be prosecuted. Stealing from the chapel ought to be pursued with vigor! Instead, the accused has only been transferred to Headquarters Company and reduced in grade.

His term of enlistment has been extended until the Command can make payroll deductions to recoup some of the $900 plus that disappeared from the collection plate.

The “bumbling PAO” would never allow that bit of “news” to be published in the BANNER.

As one cynical observer commented, “The Command sure likes to inflict heavy discipline on civilians, but prefers to cover up soldier crimes.” This soldier is not the first to be accused of not making chapel bank deposits!


The hard-working MP’s in the Security Force are not getting the bullet-proof vests that saved the life of one soldier at Fort Dix not long ago. WHY? Because the ones delivered to the military police at Carlisle Barracks were the wrong color! They had to be turned back in. As if “color” mattered to a hostile bullet.

While we’re on the subject of military police, allegations of “ticket fixes” by political officers abound. Gen. Ivany may want to call the PMO “on the carpet” for that. Just a suggestion.

Do you know, dear readers, that all the senior civilian guards were found to be “unqualified” for promotion? However, some have truly impressive backgrounds. One served as a Pennsylvania State Police bodyguard for the governor.
But it seems the senior men all earned the personal ILL WILL of a certain female security manager and her AMWAY distributor “sidekick.” Thus, the promotions went to newer employees who have not been around long enough to “cross” the security managers.

A “straw poll” of the civilian security force ranks “shift scheduling” as the biggest morale breaker. Seven guards have resigned their jobs in just the last few months, and the much-disliked PMO fired one. Employees regard this obnoxious PMO as one of the biggest JERKS on post. And that takes in some territory!


Supervisors at Carlisle Barracks need to take note that President Bush has signed the long-awaited NO FEAR Bill. It is now the LAW!

These days if you want to sexually accost a subordinate in the darkened recesses of the library stacks, peek over transoms in bathroom stalls (we mean YOU “Dickie Wigglebottom”), or otherwise harass handicapped workers, there are some SIGNIFICANT local consequences for those actions.

Both judicial awards and EEO settlement money comes out of the local operating budgets. Offending supervisors are reported to higher DOD commands along with the penalties for those found guilty of discrimination. Congress “put some teeth” in this law, and these teeth need to be felt by certain people at Carlisle Barracks!


Summer is prime time for high school reunions. Will the hard-charging and smirking-with-satisfaction football team from good old Dillsburg High, Class of ’75, relive their triumphs? For instance, the “group date” where all nine of the team paid their “respects” to one of our eager and willing “HARPIES” on Post? Do our quick-witted readers know the tale (not tail) about “pulling a train” through the back lots of Dillsburg, Pa.? They would, if they worked for this “boastful” BOSS.


We’ve had several requests from our friends at the Barracks to relate this Christmas Party “tale.” Santa Claus summoned one of our “HARPIES” in the Letort Club dining room to park her “caboose” on his lap and open her gift – inspired by newspaper headlines from the local police blotter.

It was a “get out of jail” card from a Monopoly game. Seems this hot-tempered “HARPIE” had cracked her most recent husband across the forehead with a hammer outside of Domestic Relations Court in downtown Carlisle. The poor fellow had dared file for custody of his child during one of their many separations. An arrest warrant was issued and judicial penalties levied.

We hear some of her employees have also complained about being assaulted in the workplace. Seems that an anger management class might have been a more practical and useful “gift” from either Santa or the Garrison Commander.


Just as we prepared to “write-off” the colorful and contentious BULLY who has been featured time and again in CAPERS, we hear he has inflicted one final humiliation on the staff at the Military History Institute.

Prior to leaving, he made sure to tell the workers that only the jobs in the Patron Service area were being considered for “privatization.” (A-76 study). Well, late one night, someone is alleged to have entered Upton Hall and tweaked the organization’s TDA. The Civilian Personnel Office was notified to transfer all the staffers the BULLY did not like into – you guessed it - the Patron Service Division, effective just before his April 1st departure. APRIL FOOL “boys and girls!”


Another “farewell” gift: One of our CI’s at Carlisle Barracks reports – “The word on Post is that one of SIMON LEGREE’S “minions” is getting a promotion to GS-12 at the same time that CIO is going through cutbacks due to the A-76. It would disqualify any of those very competent employees from bumping JS who – by the way – does NOT have a college degree. Is she listed in the biography book with the other higher-graded employees on Post?

The “justification” for any upgrade is that JS absorbed the clerical duties of the departed TWO-LEGGED RAT. But the RAT was only a GS-7. The duties include calling in purchase orders and checking budget printouts and employee phone logs.

Also it means illegal monitoring of employee communications and “ratting” to paranoid BOSSES like THE BULLY. Do Army officers normally “dumb-down” a job description, then PROMOTE an incumbent to GS-12? No wonder LEGREE wants to “clear post” before any promotion is announced!


Our CI’s report that a certain “light-in-the-loafers” head librarian from the War College changed his staff annual leave to attend Mary Rife’s retirement at the Sunnyside. That isn’t supposed to happen for public events at the Barracks. This “wannabe” Walmart manager better watch his step, or he will be sharing the spotlight in CAPERS with his bosom “pal,” DICKIE WIGGLEBOTTOM.


And while we are on the subject of the “mincing martinet,” an open feud is now raging in Building 22 between “DICKIE” and TOMMYBOY, with the BEARDED FLUNKIE caught in the middle. TOMMYBOY told Gen. Ivany in front of the staff that he thought the research facility should play a direct role in the Army’s Officer Training Program.
WIGGLEBOTTOM and the FLUNKIE like to cater to an odd assortment of park rangers; battlefield guides; bus stop loafers; and unemployed “scholars.” About a dozen legitimate authors occasionally use the holdings to write popular histories.

The lingering identity crisis has made for cozy working conditions for some in the upper ranks of the organization. The FLUNKIE, in particular, is able to “while away” his duty hours writing correspondence on behalf of his two boys. Helping to get them jobs, scholarships and representing them before the IRS. He also does computer art projects to advance his wife’s career, all while ostensibly “working” for Uncle Sam.

He’s got quite an “example” to emulate in DICKIE WIGGLEBOTTOM who does “ghostwriting” on government time for failed MHI directors or promotes himself as an available (for pay) after-dinner speaker. TOMMYBOY talks a good game, but in the end, this “BS artist” just closes up any program he’s given to manage. He’s always been a good “hatchet man” for whoever is his boss.


Life in Collins Hall is getting tense. Too bad, because we know what a crucial role the facility played in the chaos following the attack on the United States last September 11th. With the Pentagon and the White House in frenzy, the war gamers - with their “state-of-the-art” equipment - went to work and coordinated our military options.
The man most responsible for honing and guiding this facility has been the brilliant and highly personable Prof. Douglas Campbell.

Until Gen. Ivany arrived as Commandant, Campbell was in total control. Nowadays our CI’s say Prof. Campbell is sitting with his “back to the wall” trying to decide if he should “stick it out” until a new commandant arrives or simply retire.

Most of the power, budget, and personnel authority have shifted to COL Thigpen, Gen. Ivany’s “main man” at Collins Hall. The last five civil service appointments have involved pre-selection of recently-retired Army officers. Sounds like the “good old boy” system at work.

Money has been spent with abandon on furniture for COL Thigpen’s office. The décor would befit Kubla Khan!
Equipment purchases are limited to replacing broken or worn-out audio-visual hardware. NO money is approved for maintaining state-of-the-art readiness. WHY?

Civilian morale is at an all time low, COL Thigpen openly sneers at his workers and tells them they should be “glad” that his retired Army pal, the low-bidding A-76 contractor, will give them first crack at work in Collins Hall for half their government pay and few benefits.


The “fumbling fools” at FMSO, the Navy’s Fleet Management Support Office are back in the news. We’re told their upper management has managed to “stiff” Kim Gardiner and her hard-working staff at the Letort Club for $396. The cost of coffee and donuts while the ‘great ones” undertook a four day off-site visit to “find and define” their “mission.”

None of the “muckety-mucks” even thought to cut a purchase order to pay the bill. Now, no one wants to come forward and pay for this UNAUTHORIZED commitment out of personal funds. The Navy “legal beagles” are being asked to “OK” a “retroactive purchase order.” Next we expect to hear that the “mighty SES” has come to their rescue and transferred some more of her employees’ award money.


We end this 19th consecutive edition of CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS with a sort of congratulatory “pat-on-the-back.” And why not? Our coverage of the Bartlett murder case was the best in the nation.

We won kudos from our friends at the PATRIOT, SENTINEL, Associated Press and Harrisburg television stations. We were the news organization other media outlets came to for background information and confirmation of facts. And we were more than happy to help them.

Thus we would like to reprint below (with the writer’s permission) an e-mail we got from “Karen in Los Angeles” regarding the tragic death of the popular Suzanne Bartlett.

TO THE STAFF OF MILITARYCORRUPTION.COM:

“As a friend of Suzanne Bartlett’s from high school (back in the days when she was Suzy Tassone), I wanted to thank you for being the only source of real information I gave been able to find about this horrible murder. I’m shocked the mainstream press hasn’t been more aggressive about covering this, so my hat goes off to your staff.

“As your pages have so accurately noted, Suzy was a genuine, funny and extremely well-liked person. Her death has been hard for everyone who knew her to absorb. I will continue to check your website for more information and hope no one tries to muscle you into keeping quiet. Thanks again.”

Karen K.
Los Angeles

Thanks, Karen for those kind words. Everyone here appreciates your message more than you know. And we will never let the likes of LOSERS like Jim MacNeil and others silence us or “hunt down” our sources. We will shine the light of TRUTH in every dark corner. And let the RATS and COCKROACHES scatter!


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