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CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS
September 19, 2002


Please take a moment out of your day to be sure and smile, wave and say “THANK YOU” to the civilian security guards who help make Carlisle Barracks a safer place to live and work.

An incident on September 11 brings to mind just how much we should be grateful to these hard-working individuals.

At the height of the dedication service, a car was pulled over at random for a security inspection of the trunk and under the hood. The driver was handicapped and “panicked” by the search.

He hit the gas peddle when he should have stepped on the brake. The result was a near tragedy.

Two civilian security guards were knocked to the ground. One escaped with bruises. The other went under the auto’s front bumper. He is hospitalized in serious condition.


SHOCK AND DISBELIEF DEPT – that is the reaction of terminated CIO workers on Carlisle Barracks. They thought that the post would at least abide by the reduction in force rules legislated in Title V of the U.S. Code. How were they to know that Mr. Silverberg and his “band of bunglers” were about to misuse OPM policy that might exempt this workforce from normal “bumping rights?”

Post-wide “bumping” may be denied on the grounds that it would be “disruptive to management.” As a result, a recent mock RIF conducted on post showed many GS-11’s with ten years of service, bumping into GS-05 slots! Professionals being offered clerical jobs, or those in lower grades being put OUT ON THE STREET after as much as sixteen years of service!

Perhaps the most EGREGIOUS injustice involves the alleged “political promotion” of a certain female who works at the Military History Institute – just 24 hours before an administrative promotion freeze ordered by Gen. Ivany. We don’t think the Commandant, a man known for decency and fair play, was amused at that bit of “fast paper-shuffling.”

The general’s order was an attempt to PREVENT just such injustices toward the CIO workforce. This “lady” advanced from GS-11 to GS-12 though an alleged non-competitive promotion that was never formally announced or acknowledged by “embarrassed” MHI officials. While that “specious” promotion is subject to EEO challenge, so far Barracks civilian personnel officers are holding firm that senior, better trained CIO staffers are “not qualified” to do the work.

That must have come as a rude shock to the highly-efficient and well- qualified Brian Kurtz, who has consistently “bailed out” this “favored female” when her “computer expertise and webmaster know-how has come up short.” Remember the price increase for duplicated photos she didn’t post for more than three months, or the staff leave schedules that went unrecorded? Why is that type of job performance rewarded? Inquiring minds want to know.


We wish to SALUTE two fine retired officers – COL’s Ray Porter and Ed Murdock for the hard work they put in to benefit the Chapel Community’s Third Annual Faithfest. The outstanding Chaplains, COL Rutherford (Catholic) and “Sonny” Moore (Protestant) deserve many kudos for the interfaith cooperation and leadership they brought to this event..


We see that PEE WEE HERMAN, aka THE WEASAL, is “holding court” on the parking lot these days with all his office furniture locked away in truck cargo boxes. His most diligent work staff is on a paid hiatus, while a contractor installs a new carpet.

Seems an OOZING yellow “slime trail” built up from the front door to PEE WEE’s desk. Most “symbolic” AND “appropriate,” we think. No, we don’t like PEE WEE - for very good reasons - and have long hoped for his retirement. No more officers to be stabbed in the back with illegally-prepared OER’s. However, you have to hand it to the little rodent - no replacement could ever pervert the regulations as well as PEE WEE. He’s the BEST, or the WORST, at what he does - depending on how you look at it. No wonder the Army has offered to keep this “slime ball” around as a paid consultant. People like him are always “useful.”


Speaking of parking lot POW-WOWS, our CI’s report that much jockeying is going on among certain individuals who hope to be on the “inside track” as candidates for the Title X Directorship of the “new” MHI.

THE BULLY; a certain “diminutive” retired LTC known as HOT PANT’s “boyfriend” and patron; and the ever-obnoxious TOMMY-BOY - all are lusting after the position.

For the sake of the Military History Institute and the U.S. Army, let’s hope none of them gets the job.

“My God! He’s such an arrogant CREEP now,” says a female staffer. “If TOMMY-BOY ever got to be director, his head wouldn’t be able to fit through the front door. People would resign en masse before working under HIM!”

As for THE BULLY, we know the Commandant – unlike “Pathetic Bobby” who saved this foul-mouthed failure’s military career after a DUI offense - is too smart to risk the potential EMBARRASSMENT of bringing THE BULLY back on post in ANY capacity.

As to “off-post,” our many CI’s in town tell us THE BULLY’s main drinking hole these days is “McKay’s Cave” (formerly the Garden Cave) on Spring Street. Seems when he gets a few drinks under his belt, THE BULLY likes to “act up” on the dance floor. However, no Fred Astaire is he! A pathetic sight.


Our longtime readers will recall earlier items on HOT PANTS and her sleazy office romance with the above-mentioned “diminutive” retired LTC.

Talk about fast advancement – her well-connected “lover-boy” helped her climb the ladder from GS-04 clerical to a GS-07 rank, and then on to a GS-09 manuscript supervisor – all in just 11 months!

When HOT PANTS, who admitted to an EEO investigator that she was indeed having an “affair” with her married office mate, was asked if she thought such “rapid promotions” were “fair,” the barracuda bellowed: “No! I should have been given a GS-11!”

Our CI’s tell us HOT PANTS’ promotions have not come without some “cost.” Namely, the destruction of at least one marriage; custody of children affected by divorce; having to pay half of a home mortgage, as well as the cost of an apartment in the same complex as her “benefactor.”


MilitaryCorruption.com wants to greet the new class of USAWC student families on post. We hope they too will become dedicated readers of Carlisle CAPERS.

The class is off to a very good year. Those families constituted most of the crowd who paid tribute when the new SFC Randall Shughard Building was dedicated. This barracks will now house the enlisted soldiers and HQ Company. A great addition to the post.

And in a similar vein, these same AWC officers and their spouses have sponsored a West Point Football visit for young boys who might want to make the Army a career. An excellent recruiting tool.


Longtime observers on Carlisle Barracks have alerted us to the fact that the money-grubbing LOUDMOUTH mentioned in last month’s CAPERS, has returned to his “old stomping grounds.” We are told he conned Terry Myers into hiring him to staff the pro shop and hang out around the gold house with all the other “over-the-hill” gang.


“GRAVEDIGGER DAVE” the “bogus body counter” from the Vietnam War also came back for a visit this summer. He says he’s managing a farm in Iowa, after leaving a cushy state job as Harrisburg Airport manager.

“Digger Dave” has been known to confess his “sins” at Prayer Breakfast. He admitted “padding” the body count in ‘NAM, a sure way up the promotion ladder. As garrison commander, he hired Alan Thompson and added more “HARPIES” at the Barracks. THAT says volumes about Dave’s “ability and judgement” – or lack of it!


Happy “anniversary” to the Kentucky Rug Merchant. He knows what we mean. This sorry excuse for an officer – he couldn’t make it past LTC in 24 years despite a well-worn set of knee-pads – was one of the meanest drunks to ever pollute Carlisle Barracks.

He seemed to have had a real “close” relationship with FLATHEAD’s ugly and incompetent wife. Oh well, they deserved each other. “Water finds it own level.”

At the club he would brag to his circle of sycophants – and a couple of our CI’s he didn’t know were there – about how he “NUKED” people at other commands. Seems he learned at the knee of the late, unlamented Gen. Maxwell “Mad Max” Thurman. Wonder if that’s ALL he learned from the lifelong bachelor?


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