Fighting for the truth . . . exposing the corrupt
CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS
March 15, 2003
FLASH! Our CIs (confidential informants) at Fort Monroe tell us that the Army Northeast Command has just signed a settlement agreement with the HARPIE from Dillsburg.
Thats right, boys and girls in the Contracting Office, your beloved boss WONT be coming back to work! She signed away her job in return for uncontested medical retirement.
In other words, NO criminal prosecution for alleged wrong-doing while on duty. No one in the Barracks leadership stood to benefit from her demise. Thus a deal was worked out to minimize any embarrassment to the Army. And a criminal trial would have provided a real black-eye in the newspapers.
We are told the Army is sending in a major with contracting experience to run things from now on. Lets hope he can bring some badly needed civility and productivity to that office.
Remember F-Troop and Camp Runamuck on television?
A Hollywood production company that does TV pilots for a major distributor has contacted MilitaryCorruption.com about a possible collaboration on a series based on the goings-on at Carlisle Barracks.
They even read CAPERS in Tinseltown.
Of course, Carlisle Barracks and the Army War College cant and wont be named, although that didnt stop Lucian Truscott from basing his best-selling novel DRESS GRAY at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.
A clever screenwriter can come up with another name, but the similarities will be obvious. And what a cast of characters we have to work from!
How about an egomaniacal general, fond of the grape, who often throws infantile temper tantrums as he staggers around post, a pair of inscribed panties in one hand and an empty wine bottle in the other.
Theres always the lecherous garrison commander (Have you ever been with a WHITE man? Sorry folks, but weve got to be PC) morphed into another former garrison commander and idiot known as THE SCREAMER.
We can have a war crimes expert called CHUCKY CHEESE who threatens workers at Dunham Clinic when he doesnt get his medication after office hours.
Theres always MacNeil, the ex-Barracks bumbling PAO, well known to our readers as THE DUMMY. He ham-handedly poisoned relations with the local media trying to put a lid on the Bartlett murder case. In the TV show, he can be continually outfoxed by the clever CIs of MilitaryCorruption.com, honeycombed all over post, sending in regular reports to CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS.
We have the hated figure of a former PMO, who violated rights with impunity and sicced his corrupt cops on targeted officers, morphed into another top cop who was nuttier than a fruitcake. That one got caught on tape bad mouthing an undercover FBI intel asset to his own SA (special agent) handler over the telephone. NOT a smart thing to do! That moron was quickly shipped off to the boondocks (ROTC) and never heard from again.
THE CHAMELEON and his fellow back-stabber PEE WEE HERMAN could provide entertainment with the sheer audacity of their evil ways. And the obnoxious, henpecked SIMON LEGREE and devious suck-up TOMMY-BOY might don kneepads and do their thing to get a head at Carlisle Barracks.
We have the TWO-LEGGED RAT to contribute intrigue as she informs on her co-workers to keep her job. And DICKIE WIGGLEBOTTOM, the light-in-the-loafers martinet who doesnt like women. Because of political correctness, we might have to make him loveable and funny and soft-pedal his perversions and sadistic mean streak.
Dont forget FLATHEAD and his ugly, incompetent wife, wearing her husbands rank and stumbling through one mistake after the other. And last but not least, THE BULLY. This foul-mouthed, failed LTC could be depicted driving his truck drunk after dark (and getting off when his fellow ring-knocker PATHETIC BOBBY pulls strings) or hitting the bars in his off-duty hours. And getting tossed out. Lots of potential there.
Do you think folks would tune in each week to see such a motley cast of characters? In central Pennsylvania they sure would! And at the Pentagon, as well.
Our prayers go out to Melody Teats and her family this month. Mel is the much-beloved, (we got your e-mail), Army Community Services Program Manager. She was driving a carload of grandchildren when a careless driver slammed into their car.
Mel and one grandchild were injured. As a diabetic, Mel heals slowly. The nursing home benefits on her insurance were soon exhausted. A burst appendix has delayed recovery. Last reports involve the doctors decision to let Mel attempt to walk.
Please help this fine woman by donating any extra sick leave time you have to Mel at the Civilian Personnel Office. Thank you.
The winds of war are raging at the Navy Depot up the road. Seems a certain Captain Bligh was giving a sales talk to the workforce about a new contractor-designed Navy/Marine Corps internet code named NMCI.
For years, Navy civilians have struggled with computer networks that couldnt talk to each other or migrate information. NCMI will come on line in March and offers little improvement. The prospects are good that many civilian workers with have three workstations to man at their work sites for months to come.
Captain Bligh is alleged to have warned his listeners: We can fire you, we can kill you, or you can learn to love NMCI. A real sweetheart.
Workers in Building 310 at the Navy Depot tell us of a fascinating underground War Room that has been sealed off since World War II. Apparently everything is intact. What stories those walls could tell!
Next door in Building 410, folks in the Contracting Office remember its colorful former supervisors. Big, loud BRAINLESS BOBs federal career consisted of continual fights and hysterical rage. BRAINLESS has long been retired to Florida, and none too soon.
Then there was JOE MANYHANDS, the failed Jesuit priest who used to come to work drunk and vomit on the employees. Joes other talent was to sit on a womans desk and recite obscene propositions in perfect Latin. He became a role model and mentor for the HARPIE from Dillsburg who moved down to the Barracks and quickly climbed the ranks to GM-13.
A tip of our hat to a most attractive fellow journalist, Kara McConnell, star reporter for the Carlisle SENTINEL. She recently had a scoop about a military sex scandal involving a recruiting sergeant from the Navy Depot in Mechanicsburg.
Seems the pervert liked to place a video camera in his bathroom to tape his daughters teenage gal pals when they showered or undressed.
More revelations are coming to light regarding the EEO settlement of a retired colonels wife. Our CIs tell us the lady was the target of a certain Major GRUDGE who came to Carlisle Barracks in 1999. Word has it that field-grade already had at least one prior sexual harassment charge pending against him.
Were told he likes to
belittle professional females in staff meetings and referred to
his latest alleged victim as the Little Princess and other demeaning
COL Gordon Thigpen III is said to have failed in his efforts to intervene or stop the behavior.
Good to see the authorities go after genuine sexual harassment for a change.
We hear a new battle has broken out in the head shed. It allegedly pits COL Kathy Perry and E. J. Nichols against COL Thigpen III. This ruckus concerns security clearances for the new REMTECH workers coming aboard early to learn the complicated jobs they are taking from the civilian workforce.
All of the civil servants were carefully screened for a Top Secret Clearance. Has someone forgot we are fighting a war? REMTECH doesnt seem to want to spend the time or money to properly screen its contract workers. Our CIs say COL Thigpen III wants to help out his pals by waving the long-standing security requirements at Collins Hall. We hope you put up a food fight, ladies!
BULLETIN!!! Just before we went to press we learned Mr. William Singleton, top dog in the REMTECH takeover, suddenly submitted his resignation. Has he already learned some hard lessons like COL Bob Shields, the mid-wife for Griffin Services?
No, we havent forgotten you, DUMMY. Well be writing all about THE DUMMYs role in REMTECH in the near future.
A certain well respected and knowledgeable federal worker forced into retirement by the REMTECH contract has just gotten a subtle threat attached to his performance appraisal for what was supposed to be the PAST twelve months of good work. The comments section reads: We expect he will make the transition easy for his new REMTECH workers. This implies if he doesnt, he can forget any good recommendations to future employers.
Were pleased that Ed Otto is being offered employment with retired COL Gil Bishop in Root Hall. Hopefully, he will ultimately be selected for Hugh Barrs essentially governmental civil service job.
Ed was unfairly locked out of JSs politically protected job at MHI. Maybe Ed was lucky! We doubt that an information technology officer of Ottos stature and self-respect would have adapted well to that females primary job duties such as planning picnics, soup and salad luncheons, and cleaning the break room.
This makes JS the highest paid household custodial worker in federal service! Its not what you know, its . . . never mind. Oh yes, she sorts mail and represents MHI in chili cook offs as well. Nice to know the taxpayers are getting their moneys worth.
Terry Phoenix was offered the chance to fill Mike Millers shoes as he chooses retirement. That will keep her on track career-wise and save her form a demotion. Lisa Ney maybe getting another offer too.
Sources on post suspect these well considered humanitarian job placements for loyal post employees are the work of COL Mike Colpo. He has long been regarded as an able personnel fixerof the first order, at both Carlisle Barracks and the Pentagon.
We hear that portly JAG Major Daniel W. Kelly is anxiously awaiting a PCS move this summer to Europe or ANY place overseas. He doesnt like CAPERs spotlight shining on his less than distinguished legal career at the Barracks. Cheer up, major, we are read at all the overseas American bases where you hope to serve.
Our CIs downtown tell us that the BULLYs faded red Toyota pick-up can be seen these days parked along Hanover Street from the Locker Room Bar to the Towns Tavern as he follows the Happy Hour specials. The BULLY is really taking the loss of the coveted Title X position at MHI hard. Either he was kicked out of his old hangout, the Garden Cave, for rowdy behavior on the dance floor (a pathetic sight!), or he needs to stretch his retirement money.
In June, COL Alan C. Cate will become the new AHEC Director replacing COL Jim Costigan. Many have high expectations for Cate. He has only one possible direction to travel UP!
The good colonel will take command of a regiment of frustrated employees marching in place while sinking deeper into quicksand.
Meanwhile, GIGLIN JACK, a befuddled Pennsylvania patronage employee, is said to be advising managers to squander the Institutes budget on gouging inept contractors.
As war looms in the Middle East, the Army is turning its back on its four so-called National Museum complexes, hoping that creative fund raising in the private sector will salvage their mission. With the abrasive and obnoxious QUEEN CHARLOTTE on duty at Carlisle Barracks, that will indeed become a most significant challenge.
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