November 15, 2003

YOU ASKED FOR IT – In our last edition of CAPERS [October 15, 2003], we gave an opportunity to the civilian responsible for putting up a “smear” poster attacking our editor (with the complicity of the Command?) on an Anne Ely Hall bulletin board – and then mailing libelous and threatening letters to the editor’s neighbors – to “come clean” about who helped that person obtain information protected under the Privacy Act. We had been told it was a certain cowardly officer with a motive to “settle a score” with our editor.

The deal, which expired on November 1, 2003, was “NO PROSECUTION” if you “give up the identity of your source.” Since that kind and generous offer was responded to by a “second wave” of vituperative, anonymous letters, mailed from Harrisburg, Pa. (U.S. Postal Inspectors are on the case, and our police friends have “turned up” prints), you will get no mercy. So go “break a leg!”

To make sure those responsible for these criminal acts are brought to justice – and we have reason to believe there are some in the Carlisle Barracks Command who may be gleefully involved in this – we are “upping the ante.” Effective immediately, we make the following public offer:

$10,000 REWARD

For information leading to the arrest, conviction, and incarceration of any MILITARY officer at Carlisle Barracks who leaked material or showed documents protected by the Privacy Act to any other individual connected with the above mentioned harassment of our editor. Under federal statutes, even discussing such information verbally, is a violation of the law.

This money will be paid, no questions asked, into the bank account of any military member or civilian employee on Carlisle Barracks who meets the requirements of the REWARD.

We especially encourage those who work at Garrison Headquarters, Root and Collins Halls, and individual members of the Military Police and CID to come forward with what you know.

You may contact us at

As for the officer, YOU know that WE know who you are. Now it is a matter of gathering evidence and sending you to prison. It’s only a matter of time.

THE SUPER VIXON IS MISSING – MG Huntoon, like the Commandants before him, has a private VIP bathroom at his disposal on the 3rd floor of Collins Hall. Unfortunately, the general isn’t the person who gets the most frequent or “best” use of it.

It seems that a young Army specialist with a long assignment at the Barracks was taking a “hot-to-trot” married “stripper” upstairs for “inverted pushups” as part of his regular PT “workout.”

Now that the mouthy lady has been “canned” from her high-paying Remtech job (a case of falsely accusing her boss of “sexual harassment,” then bragging she got him fired), the lonely soldier has to go upstairs by himself these days, with only exciting “memories” to stimulate his fantasy.

MAJ GRINDLE - THE “FAIR-HAIRED BOY” - seems to have left one more scandal behind at Carlisle Barracks. We are told a female clerical employee with intense personal family problems and associated stress from all the turmoil in her life, was observed by an “office snitch,” taking prescription tranquilizers at work.

Instead of cutting the woman some “slack” and offering moral support, it’s said that Grindle and his cronies “ganged up” on her and tried to get her security clearance lifted. That would, of course, terminate her job!

Fortunately, the security managers at Collins Hall had both the knowledge and backbone to say “NO” to this blatant abuse of authority.

The Grindles, now in Pittsburgh, are the proud parents of a new baby girl. The birth was “very difficult” and we hear Mrs. G. almost lost her life! We hope that the controversy arising out of the major’s alleged misconduct at Carlisle Barracks did not unduly contribute to her ordeal.

BUMBLING BUCHER “ON THE WAY OUT?” – Inquiring minds want to know why the “fast-track, former Pentagon flack,” Carlisle Barrack’s own “bumbling PAO,” Merideth Bucher, is missing so many staff meetings these past few months? That’s a big “no-no” for any PAO – not to attend a majority of the Commandant’s weekly “get-togethers.”

Her “designated representative” has done well in her stead, but people ARE beginning to talk! Could it be that Gen. Huntoon has recognized her fumbling role in the “web site ban” fiasco from last September, and is looking for a replacement?

We hope he is giving that serious consideration, as some of the things we have heard about HIM lately, do not convince us this general will not end up like the last two in the Commandant’s post – no promotion and then, out of the Army!

APPROPRIATELY DRESSED – COL Mike “NO COMBAT” Colpo was observed on post a few weeks ago, dressed as a “NERD” on his way to attend a private Halloween party. The very heavy-set female sitting next to him in his vehicle was costumed as a “witch.”

Some observers feel an “orange” jumpsuit, let’s say with stenciling on the back, would’ve been even more appropriate for this particular officer. Why the “color” would be just right for the Halloween holiday!

CPT “SNIFFFLES” – was passed over once too often for promotion at Collins Hall. This “strutting little peacock” was hoping his mentor, COL “PIGPEN,” would look out for him and at least plug him into a GS-11 federal civil service position. One has been held on the shelf for some time now.

Trouble is, the nervous little tyrant has provoked a six-figure federal lawsuit that will soon have attorney Peter Broida taking depositions from the brass. Then the intrigues of the “puzzle palace” go before a third-party review board.

NEW DIEHL AT MILPO – Mr. “TOPPER” Henry is trying for a GS-12 we are told, and plays golf with MAJ Readshaw. That’s because the new civilian manager of the Military Personnel Office (MILPO), fancies himself an all-time expert on the regulations that govern the careers of our “green-suited” soldier contingent.

Moreover, like Larry Deihl, who could not break out of a GS-11 job slot despite earning tons of awards from the Army brass for doing their “dirty work,” Mr. Henry and his contractor wife bring a totally new dimension towards soldier service in the military.

That’s right, boys and girls, it ain’t NEPOTISM when “wifey” works as a civilian contractor in the same office her husband supervises as a civilian manager. Just ask Mike “NO COMBAT” Colpo if that isn’t so. He allows it!

Don’t expect customer complaints about “wifey” to stick either. The woman who shares TOPPER’s pillow is coated with “teflon” in the office. Just ask any of the disgruntled work force.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND NOON – that’s how the civilian security guards describe the working conditions at Carlisle Barracks and Letterkenny Army Depot. The Carlisle security force has applied en-mass for jobs down the road.

At Letterkenny, the guards are treated with respect and dignity. They can work up to 20 hours of voluntary overtime per week, if they want. They also get lunch breaks.

But at Carlisle Barracks, a long series of “tin-pot dictators” in majors’ uniforms have reduced morale to negative numbers. One sergeant said of the last PMO: “He couldn’t even roll over in bed without pulling the covers off somebody.” Unfortunately – the new PMO, MAJ Suskie – is off to a bad start by threatening the firemen with an A-76 study.

LOSS OF A WONDERFUL WIFE – COL (Ret.) Wally Aux, the much-loved and revered former faculty member from Root Hall and MHI Library Volunteers recently said the last “good-bye” to his dear wife Maxine. Funeral services were held at the Post chapel.

Mrs. Aux and the colonel traveled the world while raising a family. After serving their last duty assignment at Carlisle Barracks, she and her husband retired to Carlisle in 1970. She was active in many local volunteer organizations and played a significant role is setting up the Dickinson College chapter of Kappa Alpha Theta Sorority.

God rest the soul of this loving woman and wonderful wife.

PIG ROAST TO PROMOTION – That’s right, gang. The infamous Pig Roast we heard about on Red Tank Road, where a certain former paranoid PMO (Peterson) got his fill of pork, premium beer, and cheap lies about various members of the fire department and civilian guard force, had absolutely nothing to do with “THE BRAWLER” getting a promotion a week later to engine driver for the Post fire truck. Well, of course not!

In fact, we hear that the recently-departed (PMO) Peterson liked the “free beer” so much, he was a regular visitor to his “favorite fireman’s house” on Red Tank Road. Boy, those timber profits are going to good use, with all the “goodwill” you can “buy” at Carlisle Barracks.

We hear a civilian contractor has been hired to shore up the floor under the new fire truck and patch the ever-widening crack in the concrete. It will take a lot more than that for the garrison commander and PMO to “repair” the “cracks” in the “morale” of the men who need to depend on each other when they put their lives on the line and into “harm’s way.”

The union has now filed a written Unfair Labor Practices Charge against the Barracks. The “Iron Major” from Abington has, in turn, made illegal threats and been “snooping” in old and dated personnel records. He’s turning out to be as big a JERK as his predecessor – and that takes some doing!

BIG MAMA’S COMPETITION – That’s right, the tubby 48 year-old “wanna-be” Prom Queen, with a healthy appetite for “well-built” plumbers – men with experience in “laying pipe,” – is getting some “stiff” competition from a slightly older but more stable “Griffin girl.”

The competition for the same man allegedly has “Boss-man Rick” slightly bent out of shape as he wants to get the most work he can out of a small and shrinking staff. Big Mama’s morning trips to the shop area with pies, cakes and cookies for her Garden Cave “dirty dancing” partners, is taking its toll on the Boss’s patience.

A TIP OF THE HAT – to Republican Congressman Todd Platts and Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa), for helping to protect federal whistleblowers. Both men have sponsored legislation that will restore job protections to civilian workers who report wrongdoing and corruption.

Carlisle Barracks has given the freshman congressman a good lesson in the “cost to the taxpayers” of such wrongdoing.

We know Platts is a regular reader of CAPERS. Maybe that’s why he’s so “up on things.”

A string of recent court rulings by conservative judges have al but gutted the Whistleblower Protection Act. Civilian workers and the military risk bureaucratic harassment, career damage, and economic loss for simply telling the truth.

Those of you contributing to the Combined Federal Campaign, can help by making your donations to the Government Accountability Project, a whistleblower organization that authored the new legislation.

CHAPEL NEWS – Former head Chaplain “Sonny” Moore and his beloved wife Martha were honored on November 6th when a wealthy friend made a significant financial contribution to the USAWC in the names of the colonel and his wife.

Members of the congregation are glad their prayers are being answered and Martha’s medical reports suggest a possible period of remission is taking place.

MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR – At this time of the year when we give thanks to our God for our bountiful harvest, those of us at have much to be thankful for.

Enemies like Mike “NO COMBAT” Colpo and BUMBLING BUCHER, the incompetent PAO, by the sheer audacity of their failed effort to illegally BAN this site from Barracks computers, managed to shoot themselves in the feet and got us national news publicity and support from thousands of new readers.

In fact, our average daily “unique page views” are approaching 50,000, thanks, in part, to this “dubious duo.” To take an old phrase and turn it around: “With enemies like these, you don’t need any more friends.” is bigger and stronger than ever, and the two above-mentioned “dummies” are the frequent object of whispers and snickers behind their back. The whole post is laughing at them! As we said, there’s LOTS of things to be “grateful for” this Thanksgiving.

FOR A GOOD MEAL – On Thanksgiving Day, give “the lady of the house” a break and dine in elegance at the LeTort View with the ever-efficient Kim Gardner and her excellent staff. They will be serving up a feast fit for a king. If last year’s event was fantastic, just wait’ll you see what the staff assembles this year! Reservations are advised.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!TRADOC has abandoned plans to send a Major to oversee the long-troubled Contracting Office at Carlisle Barracks. Perhaps after reading two years worth of CAPERS, he was afraid to come here! LOL!

With little or no fanfare, a four-day “Job Announcement” was opened on the Civilian Personnel web site. Look for an “internal” candidate to be selected for the well-paying GS-13 director’s job. We have a “favorite,” but won’t “jinx” the candidate with a MCC endorsement!


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