Fighting for the truth . . . exposing the corrupt

February 14, 2001

Get ready for the latest edition of the hard-hitting "CAPERS," back by popular demand! Look around you on post and "smile," the person you see may be our newest CI (confidential informant). They come from anywhere and everywhere, all over post. Some the least suspected. That's what makes our "inside" information fast and accurate. And to all you AWC students that have joined the ranks of our readers, success and good fortune to you in 2001.

Did you catch garrison commander LTC Thomas T. Smith's brilliant and very witty piece of writing: "STUDENT ISSUES" (Chapter 10)? You'd almost think Mark Twain had come back to life!

What a waste that a man of his obvious talents, a published author, historian, and the "no-brainer" choice to be next director and restore dignity at the scandal-plagued MHI, has yet to be chosen for that high-profile position. It's an 0-6 billet, which means Smith could have "upward-mobility" in a job he richly deserves.

"Enquiring minds" want to know WHY a proven and potential embarrassment is allowed to remain in place when another episode of drunken driving and verbal abuse towards off-post police officers could reflect badly on the Carlisle Barracks community. It's not like the old days, when "pathetic Bobby" was around to pick up the phone and "take care of" a fellow ring-knocker.

We at are so impressed by Smith's obvious journalistic skills, if the Army doesn't see fit to use him to best advantage, perhaps he would consider coming to work here.

Because of his present position and educational background, we could start him out as a "senior reporter" at $85,000 per year with three week's vacation, full benefits and a rent-free home in fashionable Scottsdale. How about it, colonel?

Garrison commanders come and go. Some, like COL Mike Culpo are essentially good and decent men who work for those of less integrity, and "make the best of a bad situation."

Some garrison commanders, like the "wild man" who last held the job, are their own worst enemy. Arrogance AND stupidity are a deadly combination. As he found out.

But one garrison commander from the past finally got hoisted on his own petards.

This self-styled stud was indulged by his "politically-correct" and fiercely ambitious commandant - (the "hero" of Grenada to all you Wolfhounds out there). This LTC made the ultimate boo-boo when he tried to "come on" to a certain shapely lady shopping in the Carlisle Barracks commissary.

He didn't realize the sexy Fraulein civilian he was trying to make time with, was and is the girl friend of a certain editor at!

Seems he was so much "on the prowl," he threw caution to the wind, giving the object of his desire his card and asking for a "date." Never mind he was married. "My wife is pregnant," he confided.

Phone calls followed in which the shocked female was asked: "Have you ever been with a Black man?" She guessed he didn't mean in church. The married LTC was gently but firmly told to call somewhere else.

Well, it seems he transferred to Germany from Carlisle Barracks but didn't clean up his act. Our sources over there tell us it wasn't long before the LTC was caught in bed with a soldier's wife.

That finally was the last straw, and the LTC is no longer an officer or in the Army. Too bad his boss at Carlisle Barracks looked the other way. But then "leadership" was never the general's strong suit, was it? He could sure talk up a storm at those cocktail parties, though!

"Pee-Wee Herman" has done many a dirty deed over the years, according to Barracks old-timers and some of his workers who secretly loathe him.

We're told this "weasel-like" civilian boss has always been ready and willing to "fudge" the paperwork or "fix things" to save the hide of an officer the command favored.

But "Pee-Wee" made a deadly enemy in one field-grade officer he helped stab in the back. The now-retired officer, an expert at ferreting out frauds and phonies, is celebrating the news that one of Pee-Wee's former employees has accepted an "immunity deal."

Those in the know allege the Carlisle Barracks "house of cards," created in-part by "pathetic Bobby" and the pompous ass who preceeded him, will come crashing down! Some people will be looking at jail time, we're told.

My, that does have a way of loosening up the tongue, doesn't it?

PACKING IT IN: So sad to say "good-bye" come July to LTC Tom Fallin. But we have a feeling he won't be nostalgic for his Carlisle Barracks job. And anyway, talented civil engineers make good money "on the outside."

Speaking of leaving, "Chuckie cheese" is lucky the Army hates Seymour Hersh so much. The May 2000 NEW YORKER MAGAZINE article about "war crimes' in the Gulf and the subsequent "bad publicity" for the Barracks, did not exactly please the boys at the Pentagon. But, known never to admit fault if they could help it, dumping a certain obnoxious colonel prior to his MRD would "look bad," so the departure was put off. But as the lyrics to an old tune go: "The days dwindle down to a precious few . . ."

Did anyone who saw the recent Quarters Two "puff-piece" in the Sentinel notice that with all the pictures of the inside and outside of the building, there were NO photos of the present occupants? Any newsman would pick up on that in a minute. Is there a "message" there? Could be.

So far, only two of you have correctly identified the colonel in the car with the "Monica Lewinsky-like" secretary. (See January CAPERS). We would love to ID him, but for legal reasons are precluded from doing so. At least he has "behaved" himself lately. Must be taking a different route. Our CI's have their eyes peeled, however.

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