June 15, 2004

REIGN OF TERROR CONTINUES – Last month we reported the most vicious, concentrated attack on free speech yet at Carlisle Barracks.
With the approval of the present Commandant, Gen. David “the Enabler” Huntoon, and with the enthusiastic cooperation of his diminutive garrison commander, LTC John Kovisto (no stranger to these pages) as well as “Suskie,” the much-feared and “loathed” PMO, civilian workers and military members friendly to this web site have been threatened and paralyzed with fear.

Despite the interrogations, searches of computer hard drives, listening in on phone conversations, and checking with their “rats,” including one former CI (confidential informant for us, who’s now Col. Mike “NO COMBAT” Colpo’s “coffee buddy,”) several of our brave CI’s continue to feed us information on how each department, be it MILPO or the guard force, have been intimidated into absolute silence.

In order to spare anyone else’s careers and peace of mind, we issue this public instruction to the 12 remaining CI’s who have risked all to keep us informed: “Go to ground. Save yourselves.

We will be able to keep this column going with our ‘deep cover’ sources. Maybe not as well as in the past, but we will continue to tell the truth about what is going on and being covered up at what was once one of the Army’s most esteemed installations, next to West Point.”

A “SLAP ON THE WRIST” -- While we’re on the subject of “West Point,” former AHEC head, Col. Alan Cate’s “ring” didn’t save his career after all. He is slated to retire soon – albeit with full pension and benefits.

A tough break for the “Romeo” field-grade, who was nailed on a charge of assault against a former girlfriend – she claimed he threw her to the ground, threatening to KILL her and her dog after they had a “few” drinks and quarreled over his alleged “womanizing” ways. doubled our normal readership of this column when we broke the “exclusive story” a while back, of one of Cate’s supposed sex partners. She contacted us and described how the randy colonel – he doesn’t look like a playboy, more like a dull, balding bureaucrat – was already “nude” and “ready for action” when she arrived at his home for erotic activities.

One can only wonder what other secrets are being covered up by the top brass at Carlisle Barracks. We hear of one “cross-dressing colonel” who still could be exposed, but there is another field-grade who – if his behavior came to light – would have to leave without the “slap on the wrist” Cate got. Neither Huntoon, or anyone else could save him, if they were so inclined.

We have no problem with the acerbic AHEC colonel. Cate was no better or worse than several men who have sat in his chair before him. Of course, some – like THE CHAMELEON – have been a total waste. We recall with glee being told how that two-faced flunkie “sucked up” shamelessly to a certain past commandant, hoping to get an extension of his tour of duty.

But he couldn’t or wouldn’t “assume the position” long enough for the general’s liking, so they had a “falling out.” He had to retire on schedule. It was a hell of a job trying to get anyone to attend his going-away party.

Cate got off real easy. The 47 year-old onetime “insider” has to retire on September 1st, but he avoids forfeiting any of his pension and benefits. Would a sergeant have fared as well?

The colonel is a “first-time offender” so he does no “jail time.” In fact, he avoided having to serve 40 hours of “community service” by forking over an $800 fee. That’s “pocket change” to a well-paid “full bird.”

He gets in the ARD (Accelerated Rehabilitative Disposition) Program. That means Cate attends a “crime-prevention class” and serves six months of probation.

Cate has no prior “criminal” record, so he was lucky there. We hear he doesn’t plan to stick around the Carlisle area once the probation period is up.

It was his bad luck, the assault and harassment charges came about because he was “off-post.” If the alleged incident had occurred on the Barracks, many wonder if the Command could have succeeded in covering it up and saving one of their favorite officers. Now, we’ll never know.

You can’t help but feel sorry for Cate. If he was our old friend, THE BULLY, and had been caught drunken driving with his lights out after dark in town, and a certain pumpkin-headed general had saved his butt – that same commandant was hit with a violence in the workplace complaint after a foul-mouthed outburst in front of several female employees at the Barracks – Cate might have gotten off scot-free.

“Bumbling” Bucher, the fast-track, former Pentagon flack was rather curt in her reference to her onetime pal: “Col. Alan Cate submitted his retirement papers,” she declared. “These actions are supported by the Command.” Yeah, you bet. Like “get out of town as fast as you can, so the odor can quickly dissipate.”

WHY NOT NAME THE HERO? Bucher made sure her name was in the papers after the recent scary incident when a wacko woman drove onto post at high speed, only to crash into a “pop-up barrier” triggered by a fast-acting and highly professional Barracks gate guard.

Martha Vaughn, 48, who’d been spotted earlier in the evening last June 6, sitting in the middle of a street in downtown Carlisle, apparently “zonked out” on some substance, was critically injured in the crash.

She was airlifted to a nearby hospital where she remains in very serious condition. From what we saw of the car – what was left of it – it is indeed a miracle she survived at all.

It would have been nice if the very humble and selfless Bucher had revealed the name of the outstanding guard.

“It was a very quick response by that guard, which is superb considering what could have possibly happened if the car entered the post, “Bumbling Bucher” told the media. “It could have caused a whole lot of damage . . .” she breathlessly reported. Really? No kidding?

Now if the guard pleaded with Bucher not to cite him by name for his excellent work, we will bow three times in Bucher’s direction and vote for John Kerry. But if she failed as a PAO, to give him the recognition he deserves, well, nothing this lady does any more surprises us. We’re still waiting for her to take some “time off” and go down to Ft. Meade where she can try to earn a DINFOS diploma. Maybe then she wouldn’t make so many embarrassing mistakes.

THE SNAKE EMERGES – After an absence of several months, vituperative e-mail from a certain female stationed at Carlisle Barracks has resumed. Like a snake slithering out of her dark hole, she’s baaaack, cowardly hiding behind a “pen name.”

She didn’t dare “sign” the latest diatribe, which – among other things – accused our editor of spending the war in the relative safety of Saigon. Actually, we recall being in the Vietnamese capital, during our Army days, maybe a total of one week – over a period of several years “in-country” (1966, 1967, 1968, 1969).

We doubt she was even born when our editor went to war at age 19, but this supreme egotist – who gives herself away by her constant references to “good” journalism and the pretentious use of fifty-cent words – has no other recourse but to risk her career in such a foolhardy way.

A bit of “warning” to you, dear. Our very able webmaster was able to track backwards – it took just five minutes – a Pentagon PAO, Navy LCDR Dan Hetlage, when he didn’t have the guts to put his name to a series of profanity-laced e-mail slams against our editor. That resulted in us forcing the Pentagon and a colonel to issue us a formal letter of apology. We caught YOU the same way, babycakes.

We won’t hold our breath waiting for Huntoon to do the right thing. But we know how to run this up the chain-of-command so that it gets very uncomfortable for those who would seek to protect you.

Now, get this. Send any more venomous trash like you have – the two recent e-mails, desperately seeking attention – and you will be very sorry indeed.

At least we agree with one thing you wrote in the messages. You signed it “very troubled.” Yes, you are, “very troubled,” and also very sick. So wise up now, before it is too late.

SECRET STUFF – Carlisle Barracks has been blessed with a succession of very fine head chaplains. These men of God have retained their honor and integrity. All this, while a majority of PMO’s on post have eagerly trampled on the U.S. Constitution and been a willing “bully-boy” for the brass.

It saddens us to report that not that long ago, there was a rather substantial theft from the offerings – at least $1,000 we hear – and the culprit got off very easy because of the desire to avoid scandal on the part of the Command.

None of the current chaplains’ assistants are our CI’s, so call off the dogs, Colpo. We will not tolerate a “witch-hunt,” nor will the chaplain. Don’t even go there!

BLAST FROM THE PAST – The opening line from an old television detective series went: “There are eight million stories in the NAKED CITY.”

Well, there’s many an untold tale within the walls of various buildings at Carlisle Barracks. Pratt and Washington Halls, for starters. The old MHI building witnessed two MP-CID thugs “go for their guns” as they, Nazi-like, jumped an innocent field-grade officer from behind in his office in the basement of that venerable old building some years ago.

Both punks – “Mad Dog” and his nerdy partner – were out of the Army in a matter of months, and eventually the jack-booted criminal who gave them the order had to retire suddenly at a grade lower than the rank he hoped to “cash in on” before he left the military gravy-train. He should have gone to jail for what he said that was caught on tape. So he’s lucky, in that sense. But he’s making nickels and dimes as a “nobody” in some backwater now. So that is some form of poetic justice.

Root and Collins Halls have seen their share of intrigue too. As have Quarters One, and as diverse places as “behind the commissary” and in a secret room for noontime trysts in the attic of Upton Hall.

Plenty of material for the Hollywood screen writer who’s been asking us to license to him the copyrighted names for various characters we have made famous – or we should say infamous on these pages.

Don’t be surprised if you see a Carlisle Barracks-based film on HBO some night in the not-too-distant future. We’ll take the big bucks we get and donate it to the charity of our choice.

12 WEST POINTERS KIA IN IRAQ – That’s a sobering statistic. An even dozen (so far) West Point graduates have made the supreme sacrifice for our country, killed in combat with the enemy in Iraq.

They are, in the order of their death: CPT James Adamouski (Class of ’95); LTC Dominick Baraguna (1982); CPT Joshua Bates (1996); 1LT Leif Nott (2000); 1LT David Bernstein (2001); 1LT Todd Bryant (2002); CPT Benedict Smith (1999); CPT Eric Paliwoda (1997); CPT Matthew August (1997); CPT John Kurth (1995); 1LT Michael Adams (2002); and 2LT Leonard Cowherd (2002).

These brave men knew what it was to risk their lives for all of us. They were grateful for the superb education the taxpayers gave them at West Point.

We hope fellow West Pointer, Col. Mike “NO COMBAT” Colpo will join us in paying honor to these slain heroes. Even though he spent 27 years in uniform as a “chairBORNE Ranger,” Infantry branch, Airborne qualified, and never left the States, much less served in danger zones like Grenada, Panama, Somalia, Kosovo, Bosnia, Gulf War I, Afghanistan or the present Iraq War, we know he respects what his fellow West Pointers have done.

What we want to know is, would the present chief-of-staff at Carlisle Barracks have done things any differently, if he’d known we at would find out about and publicize his curious career path?

Would he have put that Infantry training to good use and volunteered to go into “harm’s way” as a means of thanking the taxpayers of the United States of America with giving him an opportunity few soldiers get? Only he knows for sure. It’s sad retiring soon with so few ribbons on one’s chest. But at least there is some comfort in knowing you managed to stay safely behind a desk during almost three decades of commissioned service.

We don’t know what kind of job “NO COMBAT” Colpo will seek when his Army “daze” are over, but we want him to know there is always a spot for him here at Top pay and great weather to boot! Why you might even want to publish your memoirs right here. Give us the “inside” story on what “really” went on during your years at the Barracks in several key positions. It should be very interesting.

VICTORY OVER CENSORSHIP – The many thousands of new readers who have recently joined us – we are read now in 102 countries of the world and on every U.S. military installation in CONUS and overseas – are aware that a recent attempt (reported to us from a reliable and inside source) by a top-ranking Marine officer to block our web site at all USMC installations, worldwide – was thwarted and overcome when was able to pressure the Corps – see our “Open Letter” to Marine Commandant, Gen. Mike Hagee – to lift the illegal ban.

All we had to do was mention the magic words: “lawsuit,” “First Amendment,” “Freedom of the Press” and “federal court” and the Corps did something it has done very few times in its long and illustrious history. It backed down! Now we are getting more Marine “unique page views” than ever before. Thanks, colonel! We ought to send you a case of Scotch instead of a brickbat, for all the increased circulation you got us.

Many of you remember the ill-fated and very illegal attempt by Carlisle Barracks brass to shut down from being accessed on post computers. Pornography coming in – well, that’s “none of our business” according to a legally tape-recorded and out-of-control Col.Mike “NO COMBAT” Colpo – but writing stories that embarrass the fat-cats and brass hats, now that is unforgivable.

“Bumbling Bucher,” the fast-track, former Pentagon flack who told the Harrisburg PATRIOT-NEWS with a straight-face that the censorship had been imposed on us in order to maintain “good order and discipline,” was tone-deaf to her totalitarian-like pronouncement.

When we forced the Barracks to “back off” and obey the law, we didn’t get any “apology” out of them. It helps to have an indulgent boss. Even when you have been made a “cartoon character” around the world and throughout the Army for your many miscues.

We want Bucher to know we have a great deal of gratitude for all she has done for us. Also the unintended “entertainment” she has provided. Give her time. We’ll have some more items to write in the months ahead. Maybe that screenwriter we told you about can do something with a female PAO of her aptitude. Let’s hope so.

Our editor is still hoping Bucher can get the opportunity to really learn her craft at DINFOS. It might even get her more respect on post. Go for it, Merideth. Go down there and see if you can get that sheepskin. We’re rooting for you, kid!

So until next time, God bless you, and keep reading CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS, both those of you brave enough to still read it on post, and those that wait until they get home. Spread the word. We are still here and cannot and will not be muzzled or shut down, no matter how rough the cover-up artists play. As the Holy Bible says: “ . . . and the truth shall set you free.” It will indeed!



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