Fighting for the truth . . . exposing the corrupt

April 30, 2001

We've had lots of requests for another CAPERS, so here it is, gang. Enjoy.

Members of the AWC class are among our most avid readers and we appreciate you all - but "sadly" one of your number is missing.

You know who we mean. The LTC who, let us say, got in a "problem" with a waitress at the club.

He was sent packing without delay. In the "bad old days," it all depended on WHO you were if you got away with whatever you were doing.

The editor-in-chief of this web site found that out when his very attractive German girlfriend was "hit on" in person (at the Commissary) and at home (on the phone) by a "tom-cat" ex-garrison commander. The LTC indelicately inquired of her: "Have you ever been with a black man?"

Was "the hero of Grenada" deaf, dumb, and blind to what his favored LTC was doing, or was he too busy offering $50,000 to female civilian workers to "go away" when they complained of genuine "sexual harassment" by one of his top aides?

Nothing must get in the way of that third star. And he made it. That's more than we can say for "pathetic Bobby." All he got was "early" retirement. No promotion for him.

THINGS WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW DEPT: Who were those plain-clothes "investigators" from out-of-town that took up residence in a local motel and proceeded to grill an alleged civilian "sex harasser" and a former garrison commander, who will always be known as an obnoxious creep, prone to temper tantrums?

We have CI's, (confidential informants) in town as well as on post, so the gumshoes should realize we know their every move. By the way, gentlemen, watch what you toss into the wastebasket. (We don't mean empty pizza boxes). Either that, or go back to "LEARNING HOW TO BE A COP, 101."

Well, the RAT is back! After a long "absence," the two-legged rodent has returned but, her co-workers say, she is maintaining a VERY "low profile."

Is she still informing on her colleagues to her foul-mouthed field-grade supervisor, or has she learned her lesson? Time will tell.

It must have been a shock to have been spotted at the mall walking along just fine, "healthy as can be." But after recognizing a Barracks civilian - (one she had ratted on) - this tattletale went into her "injured" act, pronto.

No Academy Award for this gal, though. She's strictly "amateur hour."

Her ability to "overhear" conversations and gather information for her demanding boss has been badly impaired by the revelations in the CAPERS.

Actually, we've been kind. There's so much more we could say . . . but, why use a baseball bat when a fly swatter will do?

Slowly but surely, Gen. Ivany - knowing what a mess was left behind by "the hero of Grenada" and "pathetic Bobby" - continues to clean out the DEADWOOD at Carlisle Barracks.

His latest good move - finding a top-notch new deputy commandant.

Our CI's at Fort Hood tell us COL Craig K. Madden is a first-rate officer. A former tanker and chopper pilot, he was an Army fellow at the Rand Corp., is airborne/ranger qualified, and with outstanding academic credentials, COL Madden will bring a much-needed "breath of fresh air" to the Barracks.

As for "Chuckie Cheese," he shouldn't despair. We hear Sy Hersh has a job opening for a clerk - arranging all his files on "war criminals."

If that's not to his liking, we have an intern position for "Chuckie" at Of course, he would be required to address his BOSS, the editor-in-chief, as SIR. We run a tight ship here.

Now, about a certain alcoholic, foul-mouthed field grade officer . . . well, we know that Gen. Ivany will proceed at his own pace. But so far, our rank card on him is marked "A" for an excellent start.

With a respected, responsible garrison commander in LTC "Ty" Smith - what an improvement over the petulant loudmouth who preceeded him - and other excellent staff selections, things are definitely improving at Carlisle Barracks.

Just a word here to say how much Nancy Bennett will be missed. A sweet-tempered nurse with a kind, compassionate heart (NO, she is NOT one of our many CI's), Nancy has extended her helping hand to many who will always remember her.

Why can't there be more people "in the system" with her good-natured personality? Carlisle Barracks has had enough of the other kind.

Inquiring minds want to know - why is "Dickie" Wigglebottom so "down in the dumps" lately? Seems he won't have a certain civilian employee to kick around anymore. For legal reasons, we won't name names, but the prissy martinet is talking to himself more often these days at his favorite Carlisle restaurant. You see, at a certain legal proceeding, which we cannot describe further, he and a snarling alcoholic officer got, shall we say, "whupped."

In this case, bullying and stacking the deck blew up in their faces. Another embarrassment added to a certain "ring-knocker's" resume. How much longer before the commandant fires this field grade? It would be merciful to send him into "re-hab" without further delay.

SOUNDS STRANGE DOESN'T IT? - - Do you know the last name of the TRADOC Inspector General at Fort Monroe is FAKE? Not JERK or FINK, although some people might think that appropriate, it's FAKE. Colonel FAKE, to be exact.

And this IG - we've received a number of complaints about him in the past - is not very popular with those who seek justice but find frustration instead.

We're not saying FAKE is a "phony" or "cover-up artist." Perish the thought! He just might be a paragon of integrity, striving mightily to seek out all the facts whenever a "brass hat" is accused of wrongdoing.

Maybe it's just a coincidence that senior officers escape punishment and retire "early" so the Army "no longer has jurisdiction" over them. Sure.

Well, FAKE - here's a news flash: YOU are under investigation. Effective immediately.

If you've engaged in wrongdoing, we will find out about it. And if you are as "clean as a hound's tooth," we'll drink a toast to you as the "greatest IG of them all!"

We're sure you won't mind the "look-see." So, to our growing audience of readers, let's hear about FAKE, "good and bad." Investigations are our specialty.

Oh, by the way, colonel. Take a good look around your shop. Try and figure out which one is a "confidential informant." We've got them everywhere.

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