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CARLISLE BARRACKS CAPERS
August 12, 2001

We've been meaning to bid a fond farewell to all our friends in the last class at the Army War College. Some of our most avid "readers" on the web have been the men and women the U.S. Army trains to become future flag-rank officers at Carlisle Barracks.

For all your kind words, shared tips, inside information and strong encouragement, we here at MilitaryCorruption.com THANK YOU.

Now, for the new class. If you are half as supportive as the old, we will be very grateful indeed.


Major Gen. Robert Ivany has certainly been a "breath of fresh air" to a troubled installation, reeling from all the embarrassment incurred during the "reign" of the "Hero of Grenada" and "Pathetic Bobby." They are but a BAD memory, and slowly but surely, the DEADWOOD and LOSERS down the ranks that infested the Barracks under their regimes have been steadily removed.

"Chuckie Cheese" won't be missed; neither will a former garrison commander nicknamed "The SCREAMER" for his temper tantrums and infantile outbursts. The string of abusive and incompetent PMO's has come to an end too, with a well-respected and decent "chief cop" now on post.

Not ALL the sexual shenanigans have ceased at the Barracks, but at least there's no more deputy commandant's wives drunkenly dancing on a bar top, waving her panties, inscribed with a message: "These are for you, Bobby" to the then-top general.

While Gen. Ivany has restored respect to Carlisle Barracks in the Army community, we still hope he will "sharpen his blade" for a couple more LOSERS who need to be "shown the door" pronto. We hear one, a civilian boss, will soon "retire." Not a moment too soon. The other, an alcoholic, foul-mouthed bully who, despite a West Point ring, never made it past 0-5 in nearly 30 years of commissioned service, badly needs a "vacation" at the Betty Ford Clinic.


During even the BAD old days, there was one constant on post who epitomized what every soldier should be. We're talking about Command Sgt. Major Don Watkins.

This highly-professional top NCO has earned the respect of all who know him. Watkins never forgot his obligations to his SOLDIERS and he fought for his enlisted people when they were being abused.

How many E-9's we saw in more than three decades of service "hung around the head shed" drinking coffee (or something else) laughing at "the old man's" dumb jokes? How many SGM's forgot where they came from, or what their role really is on an Army installation? It certainly is not to be the general's "flunkie."

When Watkins retires, it will be a big loss to the post. Gen. Ivany will be hard-pressed to find a worthy replacement to fill Watkin's big shoes.

A heartfelt SALUTE to you Sergeant Major, from a former NCO and "Mustang" field-grade officer who's proud to be a combat veteran. Whoever wrote: "Noncoms are the BACKBONE of the Army," must have been thinking of SOLDIERS like you.


We only get to print a fraction of the "INTEL" that comes our way from all the good folks in the civilian and military community at Carlisle Barracks.

One of our avid readers wonders WHY we didn't write MORE on the unfortunate incident that happened this Spring when a member of the AWC class "misbehaved" with a waitress at the Letort Club and was shipped out, later to be busted to major and retired from the Army.

Gen. Ivany has done so much to IMPROVE the post, we didn't feel we should dwell on the "negatives." After all, the commandant is not fully responsible for what a"field-grade" does after he has a few drinks in him.

Every year there is an event at the Club to promote microbreweries in the region. Vendors offer free samples and take orders for cases if the patron really likes his beer.

This year, the ever-efficient KG added an incentive: "free" tee-shirts with logo to everyone who "tasted" a number of beers. Seems a colonel from the AWC class "sampled" enough product that he "qualified" for TEN tee shirts! Along the way, he struck up a "flirtation" with a certain female in attendance.

Our sources tell us he tried to "impress" the woman with stories of his, let us say, "abundant appendage." When the lady didn't take his word for it, the student showed he was a proponent of "seeing's believing." THAT did not go down, pardon the pun, well with either the female OR the Command.

We hear the colonel spent three weeks being analyzed by the "shrinks," before he was forced out of the Army. We could have saved them the time by observing that THAT type of behavior, unfortunately, happens more often than we would like.

In fact, it was under the "Hero of Grenada's" rule that a former Chief of Staff of the Army "hid out" a crony of his at Carlisle Barracks. The naughty boy was a two-star general who'd been brought back from Bosnia for even WORSE behavior than the "soused" colonel.

But "rank has its privileges" and this two-star got to "retire" with full pension and benefits. It's not WHAT you do, it's WHO you know.


Remember "Dickie Wigglebottom," the effeminate martinet with a track record of abusing female workers? This prissy civilian BOSS has experienced a staff EXODUS lately. Many have bolted for "saner" duty stations and better treatment from management.

Almost a year to the day since the "BIG REORGANIZATION" that was supposed to FIX things, Dickie's protector is having to draft unwilling staffers from his support branches to man the vacated desks.

The ever-busy Ernie Lopez is working "overtime" to handle all the EEO complaints, sources tell us.

One attractive and underpaid worker in Building 22 gave up federal service rather than ensure the abuse of sitting at a desk eight hours every day. Using the restroom is a BIG decision that "Dickie" must decide for all his peons.

The blonde's popular brunette "side-kick" put in for a lateral transfer ANYWHERE! They both justifiably resented working beyond their grade.

Informed sources tell us the harshest injustice fell on JW, a lovely strawberry blond daughter of a faculty member at the Army War College. This freckle-faced beauty worked hard for summer intern money. She has many friends and admirers among the staff and patrons.

We hear "Dickie" was up to his old tricks. Taking a "dislike" to her, Wigglebottom made her life miserable by denying her rest breaks. She up and QUIT and headed straight for the EEO office. Her's is just one of a least FIVE sex discrimination complaints lodged against this "supervisor." JW's father made an appointment with Wigglebottom's boss to find out WHY his daughter was being so harshly treated. The "explanation" was simple, he was told. Wigglebottom, "not my best supervisor," is indeed "overly demanding" of those who work under him. But he is "essential employee" ad nauseum said the boss.

MEMO TO GEN. IVANY: That request for an extension of active duty from a certain under-achieving LTC needs to decorate the bottom of your waste basket.


Jolene, the "Bug Lady" is surely missed. When the AXE fell on her in May, she was replaced by a phone call to the "Orkin Man." Apparently this hard-working and fully-certified biologist was not appreciated enough on post.

She could catch and control every CRITTER that walks, crawls or flies. Remember watching this highly-competent lady releasing captured BATS over the golf course or spraying for vegetation in sidewalk cracks?

On her lunch hour, she was the moving force behind the Federally-employed Women, and a booster of Ernie Lopez's work with women and minorities.

But then the "bean counters" decided to dump her. BIG mistake!

The bill just came in from the contractor to chase the bugs out of just ONE house in Smurf Village. Can you believe over $31,000 to inspect and remove insect infestation from one post house? That's more than Jolene's ANNUAL SALARY plus benefits!!!


COL Bob Shields, a retired Army officer, is doing his best as local manager of Griffin Services. However, MilitaryCorruption.com has been advised by our "CI's" in the old DPW structure that Griffin Services is running up "an extraordinary number" of Quality Defect Reports by its workforce.

Elsewhere, this contractor has made a practice of hiring up to 85% of the displaced federal workers when they win an A-76 competition. WHY didn't that happen at Carlisle Barracks? Were the civil service workers too senior and well-qualified for the wages the contractor offered? Griffin has lost out on the vast pool of institutional knowledge that previously existed at the Barracks. Griffin Services is particularly vulnerable in the sensitive area of maintaining complex heating and air conditioning systems that supply Carlisle Barracks.


A critically IMPORTANT book for civilian workers and local garrison commanders has just hit the book stores. "OPEN POST" by J.D. Pines is a mystery within a murder mystery. Does the fictional Army post, "Greene Arsenal, NY," stand in for the New Cumberland Defense Depot?

We've run out of space, so MORE on that next month! But GET this book! NO, we don't get a slice of the proceeds. Wish we did!


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